– Marcia Hughes & James Terrell
The 16 skills of the EQi 2.0 are essential tools to help us thrive in these challenging times. With this article we’re providing strategies and tips on how to remember to incorporate these resources in your likely quite altered daily routine, and how to pass these ideas on to family, friends and neighbors.
These are difficult times. Please know that we’re keeping all of you in our hearts and prayers. Together we will get through this. Hopefully, we’ll take the time to learn and grow and notice our neighbors, community and loved ones even more. Our prayer is that across the world we come out of this with more compassion, light and love for one another.
Emotional Intelligence Tips & Strategies for Challenging Times
Self-Regard – Love yourself. Self-compassion is a valuable skill. Find 3 times today when you can stop even for a moment and give yourself compassion.
Self-Actualization – This skill reflects how purposeful our life feels. If you’re one of the many health care or other services workers who are keeping our world working and helping so many, please feel our thanks and know your work matters! If you’re out of a job and worried like crazy, it will really help to reflect on what you’re doing that is meaningful. Be realistic with your expectations. If you’re taking deep breathes, you help calm the energy on the planet. If you meditate, pray or send love to others, you are living purposefully. If you are gentle with yourself, you’re living purposefully.
Emotional Self-Awareness – I feel _______ because _____. Fill in this sentence. Perhaps it’s “I feel worried because so many are ill.” Or “I feel delighted when my 7-year-old niece or grand-niece learns on-line and is excited.” Being aware of how you’re feeling during this crazy time helps you manage how you engage. It may help you know it’s time for some self-compassion. Maybe there are times you’re finding joy in the everyday events of life. Embrace them!
Emotional Expression – Telling others how you feel helps those around you respond to you accurately, and it builds trust.
Assertiveness – Effective assertiveness is highly culturally contextualized. It’s about being directive while combining that with empathy. Notice how you let people – children and adults – know that you care for them while you’re also getting them enrolled to help get the job done.
Independence – Healthy independence is based on the ability to be self-directed and to take initiative while also being a part of your community. It’s the magic of paying attention and valuing both levels of engagement – self and community. It’s exercising both independence and interdependence.
Interpersonal Relationships – Now more than ever we need each other. Call or zoom family, neighbors and friends. After a talk take a minute and savor the value of the connection. Be aware of your feelings. Give yourself credit for engaging!
Empathy – Ahh, empathy is most effective when we balance care for others with care for ourselves. Too much directed to caring for others will lead to burn out and you’ll have less to give. Activate that great phrase – “Everything in the right proportion.” You can extend empathy by reflecting to a person “You feel _______ because _______.” They’ll correct you if they’re actually feeling a different emotion that you thought you heard.
Social Responsibility – Give in whatever way works for you. Give a hug. Contribute $5. Give yourself credit when you do reach out. All parts of you – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual – works best when you nurture your whole system.
Problem Solving – These are emotional times. Notice how you are factoring in your emotions when you need to make decisions. Do you get stuck when solving a problem because you want to take care of everyone? Remember we’re in this together and each of us only has so much power. Reality testing helps here!
Reality Testing – Keep things in perspective. Ask yourself, “In the grand scheme of things how important is this right now.” Some things really need careful attention. Others will get by with a more moderate effort. Don’t wear yourself out by putting too much effort into unimportant tasks or moderately important tasks.
Impulse Control – Do give energy and spontaneity throughout your day to at least some of your engagement. However, keep it in balance. You don’t want to overdo it and end up shouting at others because something isn’t perfect.
Flexibility – Go with the flow some of the time. Not always. The skill of flexibility is demonstrated through the ability to manage change. Wow, that’s one of the biggest parts of what’s happening right now – change and uncertainty. Find aspects of your life where you can build consensus or compromise if you find yourself wanting to be “right.”
Stress Tolerance – This skill has the biggest connection to your physical well-being of any of the skills. Know what helps you decompress and be sure to do at least one of those activities a day. Call it “Me” time!
Optimism – Looking on the bright side of things and being hopeful for the future will make a fundamental difference throughout your day. Combine optimism with reality testing for a healthy perspective.
Happiness – Accepting today with gratitude will leverage your energy and build happiness. Towards the end of your day, write down 3 things that happened each day that you’re grateful for.
Thanks to all of you for caring so much. Thanks for contributing to this being a world that can, will and does work for all!
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